The rationalle for researching the cognitive and behavioral affects on children of divorce is due to my working relationships with these children. I have counselled and assessed children privately and at many schools. It is important to note that sometimes divorce is the best alternative to a marriage that is dysfunctional however any change in the family structure can distrupt the well being of the child. Regardless of the parent's best good intentions, children become involved in an emotional whirlpool. Sociologists and psychologists have reliable informations that note that there are extranneous factors that can affect the child's reaction to the divorce. I have read much research that shows that the effects depend on the child's gender, age and the child's innate personality. It is also important to note that the intensity of the conflict between the parents is a significant factor in the child's behavior and cognition.
An article entitled "The Effect of Divorce on Children" noted that divorce increases the risk for a variety of issues for children. These significant issues are dependent on factors such as age, gender and the personality of the child. With respect to age the article noted that there is little information of the effects on infants. It was reported that young children do not always suffer when the divorce occurs. These young children may exhibit issues when a close relationship is broken because of the parental split.
Preschool children, ages 3 to 5, have a tendancy to feel that they caused the divorce. An example was cited that a preschooler remarked that if she would have eaten her dinner and listened then daddy would not have left. These children react with fear and may begin to resort to baby like behavior. An example would be to wet their bed.
This article noted that psychologists believe that elementary school age children are the most significantly affected. It is felt that these children are old enough to understand the process and the pain of their parent's separation however too young to be able to control or verbalize their pain. The article noted that they often feel rejected by the parent who left. These children often complain of headaches or stomachaches.
Adolescents are noted to feel anger, fear, loneliness, guilt and often become clinically depressed. They often feel that they are no longer children and have to assume the role of the missing parent. the often are not ready for this new responsibility. Many adolescents have expressed doubt in their ability to ever get married. At this age, they may understand the situation prior to the divorce as well as the divorce process. This may become so stressful that they have difficulty in their coping strategies. Many adolescents have noted that they feel the pressure to side with one of the parents.
The article also noted that gender is not a significant factor in response to behavior and cognition. Researchers note that children's adjustment following the divorce have more to do with the quality of the relationship between the parent and the child rather than gender. The article did note that school age boys living with their fathers or in a joint arrangement appear to be less aggressive and have fewer emotional issues that boys who have no contact with their fathers. Girls that are raised with their mothers tend to be more responsible and mature than girls who are raised soley with their fathers. The article appeared to stress that it is of importance that the child have a direct contact or living arrangement with the same sex parent.
This article noted that it takes approximately 2 to 3 years to adjust to the parent's divorce.
The next article noted that children are more likely to experience negative effects of divorce on their academic achievements. The article compared standardized test scores, grades and dropoit rates of divorce versus non divorced students. The results, as noted with the past three decades, indicate that children of divorce generally have poorer scores. These poorer scores are noted to be caused by their behavior rather than their intellectual abilities. This article noted that boys tend to become more aggressive and difficulty getting along with peers and teachers. It is also reported that their attendance is negatively affected as well. This article reported that girls are more likely to internalize their feelings which subsequently will result in depression. This too, has a negative affect on their academics.
There is a direct correlation in comparing these articles with my own practice however I do want to note that not all children of divorce experience a negative outcome. There are ways to alleviate the children's stress and learn to develop positive coping strategies. Parental involvement is crucial and if nurtured properly and with a close contact with the child, they will grow into well adjusted, both emotionally and academicaly.
Behrnan, R.E. and Quinn, L. (1994) Children and divorce, overview and analysis. In Children and Divorce, 4(1). Packard Foundation.
DeBord, K. (1997) Focus on kids: The effects of divorce on children. North Carolina Cooperation Extension Service.
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